everything is highkey going to shit
January 16, 2025
It has been like 3 weeks since I updated everything but that is because I am simply incredibly depressed :DDD!!
I have been so hyperfixated that I can't take care of myself AND ALSO I am having chronic health issues that is making everything require so much more effort then it used to!!! I am being so normal about this though, I am totally not crumbling under all of the stress I have right now!!!!!
I woke up today at a level 8 of 10 pain because I overdid it at physical therapy the yesterday and I genuinely could not stretch my knees out. Cut to my mom being the most pissed she has been for like a whole month and just telling me to get up and that I can't miss school, which like yeah I can't but also everytime my knee jostles I am on the verge of tears. I eated like 3 ibprofen and 2 tylenol so now I am at a steady level 5 pain, but I know that is not going to last forever because the meds are gonna wear off soon :DDD. It just has been too much to deal with recently so I have been doing the number one coping technique, get real obsessed with a character and project and also escapism. Unlucky for me that character is Fucking Izuku Midoryia... I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE SHOW!!! I STOPPED WATCHING IT AGAIN BECAUSE IT IS SO MID!!!!!! But that fucking freak imprinted on me so now I am up until 2 am every night scrolling ao3. I genuinely cried when it was down for 3 hour scheduled maintence, I literally took a nap to pass the time to read more. At least I am reading. I could be doing drugs or something. I was literally like chosen to be a drug addict but I am too responsible and also too weird to be friends with the kids who have access to the stuff. anyways. It is like an hour later and I feel better, I made my mommy buy me a coffee but I still don't like how she treated me this morning.
Have a great day yall... i will continue to participate in my maldaptive daydreaming and escapism less then 3